I read Ties by Domenico Starnone and loved it, I was particularly interested in Days of Abandonment because both books explore the fallout of a husband’s fidelity. The book was an emotional ride for me, it was depressing and I loved it. Starnone and Ferrante are married to each other and both their books touch upon the theme of a husband who leaves his wife and two children for a younger woman. Both also involve an old neighbor and a pet. Ferrante explores the mental agony of the wife after her husband abandons her and the turbulent aftermath of the marital betrayal; whereas, Starnone writes about the mental agony of the wife, the husband and lastly the children in three parts.
The novel is set in Turin where Olga lives with her husband Mario, her children Illaria and Gianni and their dog Otto. One day, Mario declares that he does not want to be with her anymore. The novel captures the wife’s descent into madness and finally finding some semblance after her husband deserts her for a much younger woman. Their neighbour Carrano also plays a significant role in the novel. Reading the book was almost similar to experiencing a real life vertigo- Olga’s suffering throughout the novel was portrayed brilliantly. It was raw, vulnerable, and a true description of the id. There is no sugar coating. Olga has given her husband everything- she carried him through his education years to raising his children and their home (quoting Olga, “I had taken away my own time and added it to his, to make him more powerful. I had put aside my own aspirations to go along with his. At every crisis of despair I had set aside my own crises to comfort him. I had disappeared into his minutes, into his hours, so that he could concentrate“).
She mentions at one point “We don’t know anything about people, even those with whom we share everything“. The veils of marriage, striving to be perfect for one another, the facades of personalities and pretence of being someone else for the sake of one another are shattered one by one throughout the novel; if only Olga had displayed this vulnerable side within the marriage. Not giving spoilers but the novel does not end badly, Olga learns to move on, to accept that life outside Mario is possible (quoting Olga,”What a mistake, above all, it had been to believe that I couldn’t live without him, when for a long time I had not been at all certain that I was alive with him“). She realizes that she did not feel like herself with him, she felt like another version of him, always adjusting and evolving according to his needs and desires.
Concluding Thoughts
I’ve already mentioned how reading the novel was similar to experiencing a vertigo for me. All in all, Ferrante paints a terrific picture of a wife’s mental descent during the days of her abandonment. It was beautiful, raw and visceral. Moreover, it is a reminder of how fragile human relationships are, how indecipherable people can be and how overcoming is difficult yet possible.
Literature, Poetry and Reading. 